March 9, 2016
Corn Nation staffers took to the streets of Gretna over the past week to survey what Nebraska fans will be wearing for Halloween costumes this season.
Out of 345 interviewees*, not a single person would admit their willingness to dress up as a Husker football player this year. This is down quite significantly from every other year Corn Nation has done this sort of polling, and we mean to tell you, we’ve been doing this sort of thing for years.
A quick survey done by driving through neighborhoods in and around Omaha observed only a smattering of carved pumpkins done with a design of anything related to Cornhusker sports.
A call to Crazy Carl’s Costume House at the Outlet Mall found a surprising number of requests for “moose outfits”, even though the employee we spoke to at Carl’s, Larry Benson, admitted that they’d had only three or four requests for anything related to moose over the past five years he’d worked there.
“Everyone wants to be a moose. I don’t get it,” said Larry, who admitted he wasn’t much of a Husker fan. Larry said the second most common request was for a “Rick and Morty” combination and he didn’t understand what that was all about either.
“It’s sad that nobody wants to dress up as a Husker football player, though. It’s been one of our most popular outfits throughout the years. All these costumes going to waste.”
Asked what he would do about the unused Husker player outfits, Larry stated, “Probably ship them all to our Milwaukee store. They’re not that much different than Wisconsin outfits, and most of the time those people are too drunk to notice the difference.”
*All lies. We’re certainly too lazy to attempt anything as energetic as this.